First of all: i dont love you.
i just love the way you walk.
i´m just into you coz you´re not perfect and you hide it really well.
you walk as if everything was where it should be, as if you knew exactly where you are goin and are takin no detours, no shorcuts and wont look at anyone who passes by, coz they dont matter.
i know you hate too much stuff too, i know you*re not where you want to be either, i know you*re unsatisfied like me
i know it coz you said it
but you dont always look like that.
you look as if you*ve already made your world and was complete and didnt NEED anything (or anyone) else... as if you only create new things on your world because you WANT to, but it doesn need it, coz it works perfectly and it looks perfect too, so you just let people into your world beacuse you felt like letting them in.
and they know it.
and im not in your world and i know it.
and i hate it and that*s what makes me gravitate around you.
i love the way that you dont need me.
it breaks my heart the way that you dont need me.
im masochistic.
but i cannot talk to you, coz you have your world all done and mine is a mess...
coz you look so perfect and i feel stupid.
you make me feel stupid.
you have that look in your eyes that i read as if you know it all and dont need anything and i feel small, and you make me feel stupid, so everything i say sounds stupid too...
so i shut.
i watch you from far away and hide and hope you never find out im watching you.
and that i care for you...
and that´s how my heart breaks, and i break.
and i know you´re not perfect and that you´re only perfect in my mind...
i won´t mind killing the illusion, i just dont want you to push me away...
thats why i keep watching you from afar and writting this things and breaking me up.
coz i´m a mess and stupid and unworthy and dont have anything to offer....
i don´t love you, i don´t think i´ll ever love you, coz i dont know you and dont dare to do it.
you wont love me or know me either.
things were easier with .... coz i didn´t do anything for him to like me, he just did.
i wish you could only like me too.
i wish i wasn´t too self concious around you....
Mostly Lists and Rants and Stuff
